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I am not sure that I can take much more of the emotional roller coaster that Challenge Business is putting me through. The rough weather - no problem, The stormy seas - bring it on, the early generator alarm clock - I normally get up first and fire it up, the runs - no problem. But hell after the collapse of the 2002 New World Challenge, they have now put me through a gut wrenching time as they consider whether I will in fact be able to do the 2004 - because I am diabetic.

Real frustrating, yes I have to watch what I eat, and yes exercise is now essential for my well being - but hey I can control my blood sugar without pills and without injections. In fact if I were to be tested for diabetes now, I doubt I would be diagnosed as diabetic. All well and good, but with the label now firmly around my neck, I now run the risk of being bumped from the race.

The last week or so has been hell, gut churning hell.

How nice it was then this morning to get a call from Alex Phillips, challenge training skipper and skipper on Quadstone in the last race to say that herself and Jeremy (also skipper in the last race and Sail Training Manager) giving some words of encouragement and letting me know that they were both backing me...

Nothing is finalized yet and my head is still all affray, but at least I know that I have some big guns helping out in my corner and it is also immensely comforting to know that Alex in particular (I have trained with her a few times in the past) is that confident in my ability to do the race.

So I am off for another ten day training sail tonight, with Alex and heading into severe gale (Force 9) forecasts for Sunday, and another bad low which should hit us on Wednesday. Maybe the strong winds will calm me down, and the exhilaration will get me back on an even keel...

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